i often get very, very cold and my entire body trembles when i’m flustered about some things.
my mind can’t decide whether to be hurt, or mad, accusing, indifferent, happy, surprised, etc. my mouth just grabs the first emotion it can, and blabs on until i get myself all twisted up in my words.
i don’t know if the shaking is from my brain going haywire or if it’s because i somehow get so astonished that all the heat leaves my body. either way, i’m insanely uncomfortable immediately following the event but cannot remove it from my mind. i will be shaking hours later, when it’s no longer relevant.
in the future, when the topic comes up i get excited, not necessarily in a good way, and the gears in my brain start working too fast again. is this normal? because i wish it didn’t happen. it doesn’t even make sense, really.
i do it when i get in ‘fights’, i do it when i get information that i don’t know how it sits with me, and i do it when i’m angry.
my body, is insane.
6/12/11
